


Loki of the Lamp

by YodelingProspector



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Genie/Djinn, Djinni & Genies, Eventual Loki/Tony Stark, Genie Loki, M/M, Tony Being Tony
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 13:52:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11254281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YodelingProspector/pseuds/YodelingProspector
Summary: Tony really wasn't expecting anything when he rubbed the lamp that he doesn't even remember buying





	Loki of the Lamp

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RenneMichaels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenneMichaels/gifts), [Nessaiya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nessaiya/gifts).



> For my awesome betas/consultants, even though neither of them asked for this.

The box- which Tony had nearly tripped over earlier as he stumbled out of his bedroom with a pounding hangover- is just large enough to hold a toaster. Which it might, because Tony honestly has no freaking clue what he ordered last night, and Jarvis claimsthat Tony made him swear not to tell anyone, including him.

 

Okay, so this certainly isn't the first time that Tony's bought something while completely drunk and then forgotten about until the thing was delivered. That's how he ended up with a small army of those remote control robot-wannabe dinosaur toys that he spruced up with artificial intelligence so that they no longer needed their remote controls.

 

Well, okay, maybe he hadn't needed to be drunk to come up with _that_ idea, but they were bad little robot dinosaur minions. Thankfully he hadn't equipped them with lasers or anything. They'd decided that Dum-E was their prey and a few had nipped at Pepper's ankles when she inconveniently walked in on Tony shooting them to pieces with his repulsors, which was harder than it should have been, with Dum-E flailing around.

 

He'd gotten one of those extremely tedious lectures from Pepper after that incident, along the lines of _you were supposed to be at a board meeting and you have about a million pointless forms to sign._ He'd mostly tuned it out as he watched Dum-E spray the smoldering robo raptors with his usual fire extinguisher.

 

Well, this box isn't big enough to hold many robo raptors, so maybe it really is a toaster.

 

“How much did I spend last night?” Tony asks, just out of curiosity, as he drains the last of his second mug of coffee.

 

“Three thousand dollars, sir.” Jarvis replies promptly. Tony shrugs. He's spent more on art that's just collecting dust in storage, or shoes he's worn once (or not at all). It's not like money is any problem for him, of course.

 

Still, this would have to be one impressive toaster to have a price tag of three grand, he thinks as he cuts the box open.

 

There's lots of bubble wrap, which should keep Dum-E busy for a while later, because it's totally not Tony who can be amused with popping bubble wrap. He's a genius, sheesh.

 

Inside the bubble wrap is some kind of bottle thing. The thing's sort of similar to a teapot- it has a handle and a spout, anyways- but it's a lot slimmer and fancier. There are also what appear to be runes carved into the surface, and he'll probably get Jarvis to translate them even though they're most likely 'magic' mumbo-jumbo.

 

The bottle seems to be solid gold, or at least a golden colored metal, not just some cheap painted plastic knockoff. He can always test its chemical compounds to find out if it's actually gold, because three grand seems pretty cheap for gold. 

 

He pulls off the lid, which is attached by a chain, and looks inside. Maybe there's some nice scotch and he'd just ordered it in a really weird bottle?

 

The thing is empty, sadly. Well, he could always put some scotch in it. Or coffee.

 

Why not? Tony grabs the thing and pours some coffee in it from the pot. A couple drops land on the outside, and Tony wipes them off with his fingers.

 

There's a sudden explosion of smoke, but nothing seems to catch fire. Not that explosions are new to Tony- they happen plenty in his lab or during battles as Iron Man- but this is his living room.

 

If Dum-E were here, the lamp would have been buried in fire extinguisher foam by now.

 

Tony stumbles back from the explosion, dropping the bottle so it spills coffee out the spout, and bumps into something before he's taken two steps. No, not something. _Someone._

 

Whirling around, he finds a man standing right behind him.

 

“What the hell?!” Tony does _not_ yelp as he quickly takes a few steps back from the guy glaring at him.

 

“Do I need to announce this intruder, sir?” Jarvis asks drily. “Shall I deploy defensive measures?”

 

Tony doesn't reply and stares unashamedly, because the guy's definitely not an eyesore in the slightest. Even if he has some really weird crown with two large, curved horns sticking out of the front.

 

The man's long black hair is neatly groomed back, falling around his shoulders, and his skin is almost as pale as paper. He's wearing a green and gold embroidered vest, speckled with jewels, left open to display his bare chest. Somehow, both the vest and chest have coffee on them, and the man's holding his wet vest away from his skin.

 

Thick gold bands encircle his wrists, covered in jewels and ornate runes, much like the bottle. Tony rakes his eyes down. Black leather pants stretch over some of the longest legs Tony's ever seen on a guy, but sadly leaves a certain area to Tony's imagination. Fortunately, he has a great imagination.

 

To cap it off, the guy has weird, curly-toed slippers on his feet.

 

“Who are you?” Tony asks, half demanding and half flirting as he looks at the man's green eyes. They almost glow.

 

“Loki.” Loki bows his head briefly yet still looks annoyed. "What do you think you were doing, pouring coffee in that?"

 

"Uh, I bought it, I can do what I want with it. Besides, what other use is there for it?" Tony says, and keeps talking before Loki can say anything.

 

“Well, Loki, I probably had fun last night.” Tony rakes his eyes over the man's lithe body again. He sadly doesn't remember going to bed with anyone last night, although he should've remembered _this_ guy. His hands itch to roam Loki's chest, wondering if that'll spur his memory.

 

“Well, anyways, you get the one time deal of round two, since I sadly don't remember round one.” Tony grins and waggles his eyebrows. “Although I can't fathom why you're wearing that outfit.”

 

Granted, the weird style doesn't exactly look _bad_ on Loki.

 

“Sir, if I may, this gentleman was not here until a few minutes ago-” Jarvis starts, and Tony nods. There hadn't been anyone in his bed when he woke up, and this guy hadn't been in his living room a minute ago. Maybe he was in the bathroom? That doesn't really sound plausible in his head.

 

“Right. So, where'd you come from?” Tony asks.

 

“You summoned me, Master.” Loki arches a brow, as if he can't believe he actually has to tell him that. "After trying to drown me in your disgusting coffee."

 

Tony matches with his own arched brow. _Master?_ Also, how is he at fault for the coffee on the guy? The lamp's still dripping coffee on the bar.

 

Maybe this is some weird, alcohol-induced dream, except there's still a slight throbbing in his head. He pinches himself, and he's definitely awake.

 

Tony groans and rubs his temples. Besides, he's never fantasized about being called that, even in his kinkiest thoughts. Despite his sexual exploits, he never really experimented with BDSM either.

 

“So, what, did I hire a stripper or something? Actually, you're something more, aren't you? You from some kink club?” Tony asks, not really giving the idea much credit. Even drunk off his feet, he wouldn't have paid for a stripper. Or a sex-worker. He's _Tony Stark,_ he doesn't need to pay people to throw off their clothes. Most people are dying to do that anyways.

 

“You summoned me. From the lamp.” The man speaks slowly, clearly thinking Tony's some kind of idiot. 

 

“Right, okay, sorry, I can pay to have it replaced. This is part of your act or whatever, right?” The lamp does sort of look like the ones in movies with genies. “Some genie out of a bottle? Three wishes, that sort of thing? Or any number of wishes, for as long as you pay for.”

 

“Just three.” Loki answers, holding up three long fingers. “But you are correct, I am a genie.”

 

“Sir,” Jarvis cuts in. “This gentleman appeared out of nowhere when you rubbed the lamp. I am... not entirely sure how.”

 

“Jarvis, bring me up the video feed here.” A holographic screen pops in front of Tony. In the video, he's alone as he rubs the bottle, and then there's the explosion of billowing smoke and Loki is standing behind him.

 

“So what'd you do, hack Jarvis to get in here? Delay his camera footage? C'mon, a magician's gotta reveal his secrets.”

 

“Do you wish for me to tell you?” Loki smirks.

 

“No, I just asked for shits and giggles.” Tony doesn't bother hiding the sarcasm.

 

“It's magic.” Loki replies, rather smugly, His grin grows to rival the Chesire Cat, showing almost all his teeth.

 

“Magic isn't real.” Tony scoffs, still focused on that. That's just what stupid people use to explain stuff, instead of science. “I think you need a nice padded room, buddy. I'll call someone for you, okay?”

 

“You are quite strange for a mortal.” Loki grins widely, displaying his teeth, eyeing him like he's some sort of new creature at a zoo. “Most who rub my lamp are do not ask so many brainless questions or need any sort of convincing whatsoever, and are instead giving me their idiotic wishes.”

 

“You're down to two wishes now. Better put more thought into those, although, from the pitiful lack of thought you put into the first, I'm wondering if you're capable of thinking more about the second two.”

 

“Hey, you're talking to a genius here.” Tony remarks, even though he totally fell for that. Not that the “wishes” are worth anything, really, but he did just throw one away. He blames his hangover.

 

Loki fixes him with a highly unimpressed look.

 

“So, what are your wishes?” Loki asks, in a tone saying he's already figured them out. “Money? Fame? Power?”

 

“In case you haven't noticed, I'm Tony Stark. I'm hurt you didn't recognize me.” Tony grins and puts a hand to his chest, acting wounded. Really, it's almost insulting the guy thinks he needs any of those things. And how can he show up and not know who Tony is? “I've got money, fame and power in spades already.”

 

Loki glances around the room, apparently conceding to the fact that Tony is at least rich. “More wealth, then? Mortals always want more, no matter how much they have.”

 

“What, so you can just magically give people money? Valid money?”

 

“Well, they don't always specify it has to be valid money." Loki grins like a shark, and Tony snorts. Does he give them Monopoly money or something? Maybe there's a stash of fake bills hidden in his vest. Tony could take it off to check, and-

 

"But there are limits.” Loki continues impatiently. “I cannot bend time, or change the past. That includes resurrection. And if you're desperate enough to ask for my help with making someone fall in love with you, it's clearly not meant to be. And you cannot wish for more wishes.” He scoffs. “Most mortals are too idiotic to even think of trying that one.”

 

“Of course you can't bend time.” Tony mutters. “Just like you can't randomly appear. Plus, I looked in that lamp, there was nothing there, and you couldn't shrink down into it anyways. There's this nifty thing called the law of conservation of mass. You can't just randomly shrink.”

 

Then, he mutters “You _need_ a shrink.”

 

Loki's green eyes bore into Tony, and Tony feels as if all his secrets are laid out for the guy... supposed 'genie' to see. Which he hates.

 

“I could remove that.” Loki says, striding forward and tapping the arc reactor in Tony's chest with one long finger. It should've been mostly hidden by Tony's shirt, even the glow, but apparently he knows about it anyways.

 

Tony steps back, wondering if this delusional man is going to grab him by the throat and hurl him out the window. He's especially wary of people touching his arc reactor, ever since Obidiah.

 

“Stay away from Mr. Stark.” Jarvis says to Loki, and an Iron Man guantlet flies towards the engineer, wrapping around his hand upon contact. Tony points his armored palm at Loki but doesn't start charging the repulsor.

 

“Yeah, and just leave a gaping hole in my chest.” Tony mutters, not bringing up that it's an electromagnet that he kind of needs to survive, because of the shrapnel. The way Loki trolled him with the first wish, Tony certainly wouldn't put it past him to just pull it out like a trout and leave him to die. Just like Stane did.

 

“I meant healing it, you fool. If you wish it.” Loki scoffs, not seeming at all concerned with Tony's gauntlet. “Of course, most of the body modifications masters ask for are enhancing their size in a certain area because they're pitifully lacking.” Loki smirks. “Will you be needing that.”

 

Tony barks out a laugh, almost asking Loki _you wanna see?_ He doesn't, though. Pity that Loki's super hot, because he's also a complete nutcase.

 

Loki seems to read the unsaid thing on his face anyways, and says “All you have to do is wish it.”

 

“Okay, that's one wish you could grant,” Tony mutters. “You're hot, but you really need help, buddy. You're not a genie.”

 

Loki sighs dramatically. “I can see you're still unconvinced of my power. I need to fix your blunder anyhow.” As he speaks, the air around him shimmers, and his odd clothes turn into a immaculate, coffee-free suit that fits his form perfectly. 

 

Tony stares, then reaches out to touch the sleeve. It feels real, and how the hell would that have been a magic trick? There's no way he was hiding it in his vest or something, and Tony hadn't seen him put it on.

 

“You asked why I was wearing the other outfit, though I seriously doubt you minded the pants.” Loki grins and the suit disappears, leaving him in the same jeweled vest and tight leather pants, and the coffee stains do not return. The crotch area is a bit more noticeable, and Tony finds himself thinking about Loki making those disappear entirely...

 

Tony looks away, eyes falling to the lamp, and realizes the coffee puddle it spilled is gone with the stains. None of his bots were here to clean it up, so it was Loki, right? Had he done that now, or when he commented on the coffee in the lamp?

 

“Holy shit,” He breathes, because Loki can apparently pull clothes out of some cosmic wardrobe. “Jarvis, did you get that?”

 

“Indeed, sir. It appears our guest has some very unusual powers.”

 

“So you really did just appear?” Tony asks. The guy had made clothes appear and disappear, and even though Tony's a man of science, he won't just blindly deny something right in front of his face, either.

 

“How many times must I tell you I emerged from the lamp, which you stupidly filled. At least you thought to rub the lamp, otherwise I would have been stuck in your dreadful drink for far too long."

 

"Excuse you, my coffee is the best money can buy. And if I'd known you were  _in_ there, well, I probably wouldn't have poured coffee in there." Tony grins when Loki glares at the word  _probably._

 

"Now that you finally believe I'm magical,” Loki says with an impatient air, “what are your remaining two wishes? I must grant them, as long as they are within the limits.”

 

Tony's certainly not going to waste them like he did with the first.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this was the most suggestive thing I've written, even if it wasn't explicit... yet(?)


End file.
